This week has been both exciting and sad. I want to start by saying I have gotten more items donated for Jeremiah's boxes so I am very excited! Now to the sad side, I have a very close friend who said to me this week that they empathized with me about the loss of Jeremiah. I don't know why but that really bothered me. Now this is someone I trust immensely and whose advice and knowledge I value but the way they said it or just those words hit me like glass shattering my skin. This person has three very healthy kids- how could they empathize?? I am really not trying to be selfish but unless you have lost a child there is no way you could empathize with me. Then they went on to say think about all those people who don't know where their child is....I have lost my daughter at the grocery store and it was horrible. I thought...there is no way you can compare, I haven't had a missing child but there is still some type of hope that you will find your child alive. This conversation made me realize that yes, my husband and friends may be sad and heart broken about his death, but no one would ever know him the way I did. I got to feel Jeremiah, I spoke to him, I carried him with love for 28 weeks. It just makes me angry someone had the nerve to say they "empathize" with me but really did not think that statement through. Or maybe he caught me on a bad day. I don't know. I miss him greatly and can't believe it's almost been 7 months since I got to kiss his cheek or caressed his forehead for the last time.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
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2 comments:
I understand sweetheart. I had someone tell me after Calypso died that He understood because His wife had sole custody of his children. I was incensed!
Btw if you can email me at veduco (at) ymail (dot) com with your address. I will get 5 or so boxes made up for you in the next few weeks and send them your way :)
I'm so sorry for your loss and it's so true that people try to say that they understand because of " x y and z" but nothing can compare with losing a child unless you have LOST (not lost and found ha) a child. One of my coworkers last week came up to me crying because she had been pumping her breast milk and it spilled. She was so upset.. and I thought, "I am the first person you come to? seriously?" I was a good friend and listened and blah blah but inside I was screaming. Maybe it was just an off day for me too, or maybe losing our children has just made us learn what extremes really are, what tears are really for and what experiences can truly break the heart.
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