Go Private??

Thank you for all your comments. I love reading them.....I am happy to say Baby V is still doing great and my kitchen is finished we went from corrian counter tops to granite. It looks beautiful!! 

I've been contemplating going private with my blog these last couple of weeks. One main reason I want to is because I have pictures of my babies on this blog and that really scares me- that someone will take their pictures and use them as their own. The main reason why I do not want to is because I know when I first lost Jeremiah reading other BLM blogs helped me realize that I was not alone and that everything I was feeling was normal- even if in my mind I felt like I was being irrational reading others blogs gave me comfort. Eventually all of this reading compelled me to begin blogging myself. Also, reading other BLM blogs who went on to have a rainbow baby also gave me hope, that I too can one day have my rainbow. So the decision of going private is very difficult. I think in the next couple of weeks I will make my decision...this is Jeremiah's place and his siblings are part of his story so just not talking about them or including them would not be fair to Jeremiah's story after all this is my life after Jeremiah. =0)

Speaking of my special little man I totally miss him. It's been very difficult for me because I am not able to make it to his special area as much as I would like to...it makes me sad that we are almost at the end of October and I have not been able to bring his fall/Halloween decorations over to him. =0( You would think since I am not working I would have more time but I feel like I had more time for EVERYTHING when I was working. Weird but true. I must make time this week to go...it's just so hard with workers coming in and out of my house and going with my 3 year old who chases butterflies all over baby land- even though it's cute because I feel like he is chasing after his brother it is distracting and not to mention disrespectful. So I promise you Jeremiah- I will get to your special spot this week. I love you little bullfrog!!!!

September

I feel like such a bad friend to all of you lately. I have been MIA but please know I think of all your babies all the time. I have been catching up with my blog reading and want to say congratulations to all the mommies for all the new rainbows on their way. Totally praying for you and your babies.

September was a crazy month. It all started on Labor Day. We took a trip to Orlando and when we got back Sunday night our kitchen was flooded with water. Our faucet burst and water leaked EVERY WHERE!! It has been crazy with two small babies, having no sink, eating out, and having a mess all over my house because my counters and cabinets were gone. Then a week later baby V had a very high fever, I took her to our pediatrician and she had a bacterial infection and had to be hospitalized and have surgery. It was scary to see my two month old baby in that state. All I could do was pray as I watched the nurses poke her and the surgeon mark on her skin so they could drain the MRZA that was growing in her. I am so glad that my prayers were answered and she recovered well. I didn't want to lose her too. Two days later, I lost a very close friend. I have been working on dealing with all the emotions and feelings about that. Then to close out the crazy month my 30th birthday made its way here. It was so much better than last year. Last year on my birthday, I sat in front of my son's grave holding his older brother in my lap. I just cried and cried. This year was better but someone was still missing. So here we are October 13th and my kitchen is still not finished, baby V is doing great, I miss my friend, and I am now 30. Crazy huh?

Hugs to all!