Introduction

So I am new to all this blogging stuff so I figured I'd introduce myself and explain why I created this blog. I plan on using this blog to journal about the loss of my second child Jeremiah Andres born asleep (I loathe the term stillborn) on July 13, 2010. I have another son who turned two 13 days after losing Jeremiah, his name is M. While I was pregnant with M I developed preclampsia at 32 weeks. M was born at 35 weeks and spent only 6 days in the NICU. Before getting pregnant with Jeremiah, I asked doctors what my chances were to develop pre-e again. I was told by every doctor in that practice that I had a 10% chance. While pregnant with Jeremiah I insited on some type of higher risk care just in case. I was told that they would keep a closer eye but there wasnt an official category of high risk for me. Anyhow...I can honestly say Jeremiah's pregnancy was very different than M's. I was sick and uncomfortable from the start. Swelling started early around 18 weeks. The doctors told me it was part of being pregnant. At around 25 weeks the swelling got worse and I had this really bad feeling but I kept telling myself its ok, Ive done this before...the baby is fine. I started getting back pains as well as side pains and since I was so busy chasing after M and working on murals for the baby's Dr. Seuss playroom I really did not notice that the baby wasnt moving on its own. All the movements I felt was him inside of me moving to my movements. At 28 weeks I went in for my normal appointment and they could not find Jeremiah's heart beat. He died because I got a severe case of pre-e called HELLP Syndrome. After all was said and done my chances for pre-e were actually higher 40% than what I was told. I can't go back and change anything but I've learned a huge lesson in making sure I listen and trust my gut. I want to have another baby soon...I know my son who lives here on earth has a brother unfortunately he's not physically here to interact with his brother. I think the bond between sibilings is amazing and want M to have that bond both physically and emotionally. I guess this helps those that do not know me know more about me...if anyone reads this to begin with. I am hoping that I can fix up this blog to look a lot nicer and include other pages such as Jeremiah resting place and how I have been decorating it monthly. In some weird way it's my way of taking care of him. I also want to add a page with Jeremiah's name collection. It's a work in progress!

Jeremiah Andres

July 13, 2010

1lb 12 ounces

5:06pm