Ahh... Facebook!! I have a love hate relationship with this social networking site. It is such a wonderful way to stay in touch with friends and family. However, it can bring out certain emotions especially as a BLM. When I first loss Jeremiah, I deactivated my account. It was so frustrating and infuriating to hear pregnancy updates as well as newborn baby pictures. After a few months in November 2010, I reactivated it mainly because I wanted to keep in touch with certain people. However in January I deactivated it again. I recently activated it again shortly before Jeremiah's angel day in July. Mainly because I wanted people to remember him on his special day. I also kept it open to announce Baby V's arrival. After deleting half of my friends list, (Mainly people who I really just had on my friends list because I knew them) it has been active since. Well yesterday I remembered why I had deactivated it for such a long period of time. My husband's stepbrothers wife is currently pregnant with baby #3. She was very neglectful with her first 2 pregnancies and there were rumors that she had been smoking with baby 2. These two little ones are now 5 and 6. At that time, I was irritated with her because I would give anything to be in her position, I had a really hard time getting pregnant with my first child and could not believe that she took that for granted. I am not a perfect mom, but I don't care if I look like a hot mess but my house and kids look in order. And up until V's birth I worked full time. (I have taken the school year off to stay home with my two munchkins...) Her house is always a mess, her kids are always dirty and she does not work. Now here is her husbands post from yesterday-----
Really?????? I did everything I could to keep Jeremiah alive. I took the medicines doctors told me to, I did every test they made me run. I took my prenatals every day, made sure I ate healthy foods, etc. Never once did I do anything knowingly to harm him but yet he's gone!! Gone forever and this chick is sitting here knowingly putting these toxins in her body. Really??? I did not comment on his post. It took everything in me not to...mainly because my husband told me not to get involved and he is right. But it is still infuriating- all I can do is pray that- that little one in her body gets here safely. I also sit here wondering if I should deactivate my account again. Mainly because posts like this send me back to that angry place- a place where I fall back into grief. They are horrible triggers. I guess that is life---full of triggers from Styrofoam coolers to little flags in the ground they all trigger that same sadness all over again. The constant reminder that someone so important is missing.
I love you Jeremiah!!!
6 comments:
It is upsetting to find out people are neglectful during pregnancies when they have the power to be healthy and take care of themselves but choose not to. :(
I hope her baby is not harmed by her thoughtlessness. Like you and so many others, I did all I could during my pregnancies to insure healthy babies, but Meredith and the twins were premature anyway. Some people don't get it that a trouble free pregnancy & a healthy child are not a given!
I got your sweet note - (((HUGS)))
It is hard to see people who do careless things during pregnancy. I can't believe her husband posted that on his facebook--is he trying to get her to stop? Take care,
It's disgusting and l have issues with people who take their pregnancies and babies lives for granted as well. It always amazes me why people like us get such a raw deal and others go through life with not a care in the world and do such reckless things...maybe one day it will all make sense.
Enjoy your year off with your babies :)
o wow, this would really infuriate me too. ((hugs))
(((((BIG HUGS))))!!!! I am so sorry, Raquel! Yes, it is difficult, at best, to deal with such things. They are hurtful. It sounds to me like he is disgusted with her behavior and trying to get her to quit through peer pressure and some shame. Either way, that does not make it easy for you, and I totally get that. I feel the same way when I see women at the grocery store buying processed trash who are pregnant, I just want to scream. Life is not fair. We get that. We would just like to have 1 live child. I do not think that is too much to ask. I understand the hurt of losing a child and one who was so hard to conceive. I just cleaned out my fb account. We had a woman who went out of her way to email me in this long diatribe typed from her cell phone. Her main goal was to remind me I had a dead child and she had 2 live children one month-to-the-date of Danny's due date, September 21. As if that wasn't bad enough she ended with telling me she had to go pick up her daughter from school and eat supper with her 2 kids. I printed the email b/c there was other stuff in it that constituted cyberbullying. I just decided I did not care who she was, or how I knew her, I was cleaning out everyone from fb that was not supporting my & Paul's healing as bereaved parents. That includes family. I haven't defriended any of them yet, but I am now mentally prepared to do so. Prayers & (((((BIGHUGS))))) for you! <3
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