Hi!! I am happy to say I made my decision on whether or not to go private or not. This month marks a year of when I first decided to start blogging about my experience. I was inspired by all the other strong women before me, I never thought I would have followers. Reading all of your comments and as well as seeing a new follower helped me decide to stay public. It fills my heart to know that someone is reading about Jeremiah's short life. Hooray!! The only thing I am going to change is that I will take down the Jellybean Chronicles and the pictures of my living kids. I do plan on mentioning Jeremiah's siblings but will not add any more pictures of them for their safety. I do have pictures of them on facebook and I do have a couple of you as friends, if you would like to be added just send me a friend request and let me know your a fellow BLM.
Before I let out all of the feelings that have bottled up inside I want to let some wonderful women know how thankful I am to them....first Sarita Meredith's mom sent me some very cute stickers out of the blue. It was great to get them in the mail. Thank you Sarita. Caroline from the Croley Gang sent me Jeremiah's name stitched but she went above and beyond and sent me a stitch of V's name with rainbow hearts. Absolutely beautiful! Thank you Caroline.
Alessa's grandmother from Treasures from the Heart made Jeremiah's names in beads....Thank you so much!
Tonight I went to visit Jeremiah's spot after going to the air show with the little ones and my husband. It is always sad to see that a new baby has joined babyland. I miss him dearly, even 15 months later my heart hurts to know he is gone. I struggle daily trying to figure out why this happened. Most of the time I can turn it off because I get busy with the babies but today even though I had a great time with my husband and kids it hurt. It hurt because I know at this point he's suppose to be walking, saying some words, laughing, waving etc. but he's not here! The guilt also sucks! All the things I could have done differently...I play them over and over again in my head. People don't realize the pain, I sometimes feel like I have to wear a mask to make them feel comfortable and it stinks. I miss you Jeremiah!
2 comments:
I'm glad you made it out to see Jeremiah's spot. Try not to think of the guilt--I know from experience, though, easier said than done.
i'm glad you decided to stay public! i agree that it is worth sharing the story of our babies short lives even if it only helps one other person (of course we know it'll help more than that in this fallen world)...hugs.
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